Propose under pressure from someone and you’re getting involved way over your head and the marriage is doomed before you even walk down the aisle. Love should be the only reason two people get married. I’m referring to the type of love that makes you feel more in love with her and more attracted to her now than you did when you first told her you loved her kind of love. The kind that makes your heart skip a beat, not infatuation, which early on many people may confuse love with.

I have a friend that is a self admitted chronic proposer. He’ll be with a girl three months and pop the question; not because each girl is “the one” for him, but because he’s so wrapped up in the pressures of society and his family. He’s seeking to marry for that little piece of paper called a marriage certificate and not because he has found everlasting love with his girl of the month. He’s been married twice already and neither marriage lasted longer than six months, although the second one I thought was really going to work out until he found out that his wife was sleeping with the electrician that kept making house calls to repair random electrical wiring around the house.

If you are planning on proposing to your girlfriend, here are some key points that should seriously be discussed before you start sending out wedding invitations and hiring a caterer for the big day.

- Have the two of you discussed finances? Is one of you better at handling money and paying the bills than the other? Will you have one joint account where both of your earnings go into or will each of you still keep separate checking accounts and share the joint account? If you’ll have separate accounts, why is that? Are both of you clear that once you’re married there is no mine or hers. Everything becomes “ours” in terms of finances and big decisions.

- Have the two of you discussed expanding the family? Does she want kids and if so, does she want them soon after getting married or does she want to wait and focus on other things like her career for a while? Are you okay with adoption if for some reason the two of you are unable to conceive?

- Do you like the area where you live or do you see yourself living in another state? What about her?

- Who will do the chores? Will you both split them up evenly or will she be responsible for working and taking care of the home and you?

The two of you may have already discussed some or all of these issues and if so, then you’re already showing signs of being ready to settle down and take the commitment of marriage seriously. If you haven’t discussed this stuff, it’s still not too late. Some of the questions may not seem all that big a deal now, but they can be what make or break a marriage down the road if they aren’t hashed out beforehand. Take your vows as seriously as they are meant to be taken with a good head on your shoulders and you’ll have the odds of staying together in your court!

Ask Katwoman